her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
