dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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