i just google imaged poop.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
