Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
