Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
