I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
