I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
