It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My pussy is not your playground.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
