you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
