Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize