Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I supernannyed him into submission
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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