Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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