"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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