you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
