Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize