Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
