Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
