these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
