consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
