Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
