Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
