you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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