He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
