Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
