And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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