I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
