Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
