You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
