You don't have asthma, your pregnant
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
