I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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