It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
