Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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