she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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