I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
