Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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