Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
