the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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