I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
