the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
