Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
