I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
