i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
