Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
