Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
