I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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