She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
