Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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