i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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