Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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