it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
His nipple licking is glorious
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