His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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