Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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