After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
