thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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