I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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