he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize