i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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