I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
