We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Shitshow foam night was such a success
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize