thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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