fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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